Laments of a Black
by blondemarauder
Summary: or 101 Reasons Why I Hate My Brother. Regulus and Sirius have never got on but, can they put their differences aside? No. This is the tale of the Black family brothers and their hatred toward each other. No slash, but Maraudery fun inside.


_Chapter 1: _Sleepover at Sirius' or Reason the First  
_A/N – Um … hey! Thank you very much for reading, and hopefully reviewing, this is my first fan fiction so excuse it's … uncertainty. Anyway! This is set in the Maruders 5__th__ year – just after Severus' and Lily's big fall out and Regulus' 4__th__ year._

_I hope you enjoy :)  
~ Lumos!_

"Sorry, James," Sirius scribbled on piece of parchment, muttering as he wrote. "I would love to host the sleepov-" Sirius shook his head, "sleepover" that sounds far too girly. He scratched his head, ruffling up his black locks and sighed. "It'll have to do," he reluntantly decided continuing he muttered. "Sleepover, but I can't. Bloody Narcissa and her new victim – Lucius Malfoy – are coming over and my mother refuses to let you round,"

Sirius glared at Narcissa's name he didn't like her. At. All. Plus, if she was coming that would no doubt mean Bellatrix and her deranged husband would too. No mention of Andromeda who had been disowned for, in Sirius opinion, finding a decent husband. Nope, just the deranged ones and their husbands; oh joy.

Flopping onto his stomach Sirius slid his letter into an envelope and sealed it. Writing on the front "James Potter" and clipping it to his owl. After sending the biting annoyance he called an owl away with the parchment attached to its leg, Sirius groaned. A whole four weeks without anything fun to do.

No pranks.

No friends.

No girls.

No nothing.

How boring.

And what made it worse, his stupid little brother Regulus seemed to be having a great time, constantly bragging; his mother and father who poured over every exaggerated word. Sirius couldn't contain his laughter at some of the things that Regulus came up with. Yet, he only had to mention which house he was in and he was sent to his room. Bloody, Regulus he'll be a Junior Death Eater – for sure.

It was odd remembering they used to be friends, despite the slight blood purity disagreements; Regulus and Sirius were quite close. Sirius would always be protecting his little brother. Often teaching him the normal "big brotherly" things. However, everything changed once Sirius came back from his first term at Hogwarts.

Suddenly, Regulus was shunned and Sirius became a lot snappier and mean toward him. Not that Regulus didn't copy these actions; showing the same hatred toward Sirius that he received himself. The only thing that kept Regulus above his brother was their parents; who adored Regulus "the-perfect-son" and despised their "muggle-loving-soon-to-be-blood-traitor" first born Sirius.

The thought of Regulus made Sirius feel ill. Hopping off his bed he decided to take a shower; to clear his head. Swinging his door open, it was littered with muggle girls on motorbike wearing not as much clothing as his mother would like, the puppy-like face of his brother stared back at him.

"Shove off Regulus," Sirius warned, pushing Regulus out the way.

"OI!" Regulus squeeled, not taking being shoved too kindly. "Watch were your going muggle-lover,"

"Shut it puppy-face," Sirius clipped Regulus on the head, disrupting his silky hair. "God, you're such a girl – your hair is so well, conditioned,"

Regulus shook his hair free of Sirius' touch. "Fuck off," Regulus stormed toward the bathroom.

"Where you going?" Sirius called, jogging toward his younger sibling.

"I'm having a shower if you must know," Regulus puffed out his chest sadly he gained no height on his brother. Sirius walked closer to him, intimidating his younger with his dark stare and taller-broader physique.

"No. You're. Not," Sirius growled to the whimpering boy below him.

"I need to shower, Sirius, a feeling you filthy Gryffindor wouldn't know,"

"Fuck you, puff, all you want to do is wash your hair," Sirius glared. "Go share this bloody obsession with your butt sex buddy Snivellus – greasy git,"

Regulus blushed a bright pink. "_Severus _and I are friends,"

Sirius laughed hard at the blushing Black. "Friends, you couldn't have a friend if you wished for it,"

Whilst Sirius was intoxicated with laughter Regulus rushed off to the bathroom. He slammed the door sliding the rusty bolt lock which took some effort to shut. Luckily Sirius began banging and screaming on the door after Regulus had hurried locked it. Wiping his brow and sighing with relief Regulus smiled. The rants of his elder rattled the door. Used to this abuse, Regulus found it easy to block Sirius out.

He walked over to the mirror and ran his fingers through his hair. "I could too, have a friend," he whispered. He hung his head. Despite being a Black, which made you practically royal, the boys in Slytherin didn't really like him. His shoulder length hair fell into the sink, a pool of water dampening the ends. He tugged at it – he was just a girly mimic of his brother.

"I can have a friend, and I will,"

###

"YOU GIRL! YOU'RE FEMALE I SWEAR! GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM!" Sirius banged on the door, but to no avail. "IF YOU DON'T GET OUT I'LL-"

"You'll _what_ blood-traitor?" a chilling voice asked from behind Sirius.

"Bellatrix…" he muttered (_A/N – Sirius seems to mutter a lot, doesn't he?_) his wide eyes glaring at the woman before him. She was wearing tight leather, and her hair frizzed, out in all directions but, down, uncontrollably as always. Sirius felt disgusted in her presence, how could anyone so … vile … not be in Azkaban already?

"Hello, cousin," she spat. "Having fun in Gryffindor?" she carried on ever more sarcastically.

Sirius smirked. "I am actually,"

Bellatrix rolled her eyes and turned away. "Ugh, I'm bored of you. Narcissa!" she called before walking away – finally.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, regaining his attention toward the bathroom. "Regulus, are you even using the shower? COME OUT OR I'LL … MAKE YOU TOUCH SOME MUGGLE STUFF! COME OUT!"

_A/N – I know it's super short … and I don't have much confidence in it, but I'd really appreciate if you reviewed, even people who don't have fanfiction can review! :D this chapter is dedicated to __**mellys-girl **__who had recommended this story before it was even released! 3_


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